She has felt loneliness before, but it was never a bother
To ruminate over the fact that it had always been one sided is a new level of alone.
She thought, I was never his first thought. Always an after. Always a forced thought because she appeared.
He never needed her. Only physically wanted her when his desire couldn’t be satisfied.
Now that he’s distracted, she is invisible.
He made her afraid to love
He made her question every intent
The way he shows love is confusing
She just gets angry
Why can’t he just trust her to open up
She’s never hurt or betrayed him
Why is he afraid
She changed her life to build their life
He won’t change
And she still stands as his biggest fan
She feels she failed at a parent.
She regrets she didn’t teach her daughter to appreciate her blackness.
Love is stupid when you’re alone
The song, the post, all up in her notifications.
She wants boxes checked that she doesn’t even know exist.
She wants him to prioritize her.
She wants laughter,
She wants him to feel concerned.
She doesn’t want him to forget.
She wants to learn from him.
She wants to be apart of his unconscious.
She wants to compliment him, not complete him.
Some days love is harder to move forward than other days.
There are not enough distractions to pull you out.
Her heart has left her body and is 800 miles away
Existing without her heart at this point seems natural
When she can’t breathe
She calls and he breathes for her
No one sees that she is falling apart
In the dark hours of the morning, she pulls out her spine and melts to the floor
All her insecurities flow through her veins
All her strength has left
Loneliness greets her with its cold hand and reminds her no one cares
She just wants to be happy