New Levels of Alone

She has felt loneliness before, but it was never a bother

Now

To ruminate over the fact that it had always been one sided is a new level of alone.

She thought, I was never his first thought. Always an after. Always a forced thought because she appeared.

He never needed her. Only physically wanted her when his desire couldn’t be satisfied.

Now that he’s distracted, she is invisible.

Fear

He made her afraid to love

He made her question every intent

The way he shows love is confusing

She just gets angry

Why can’t he just trust her to open up

She’s never hurt or betrayed him

Why is he afraid

She changed her life to build their life

He won’t change

And she still stands as his biggest fan

Today

Love is stupid when you’re alone

It’s everywhere…

The song, the post, all up in her notifications.

She wants boxes checked that she doesn’t even know exist.

She wants him to prioritize her.

She wants laughter,

She wants him to feel concerned.

She doesn’t want him to forget.

She wants to learn from him.

She wants to be apart of his unconscious.

She wants to compliment him, not complete him.