He will never understand how much he hurts. How much I am sometimes embarrassed by how much I love him. How I don’t always say what I want to say, because the love is too much.

He just doesn’t slow down to listen to how it hurts. 

He remains distracted as a coping mechanism, but his distractions are my pain. I feel he finds distraction to forget about me.

It infuriates me, so I distract. I change the subject, I turn the tides, I rush air back into the room. 

But then, I’m reminded ever so softly, I’m #2. 

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